A Guide to Our Perfect Society

Starr Asuncion, Satire

Twenty-first-century society, what a time to be alive! I mean, it’s not that hard to love it here, from the expectations and standards to the pressure weighing you so far down you find yourself on the floor crying tears of complete joy. Just take a look at the people, red puffy faces, throats sore after coming back from the bathroom, long sleeves in the middle of summer, and just look at that beautiful too-big smile. 

To fit into the culture is simple: just be perfect. It’s not that hard and it’s not like you’ll be judged if you just aren’t good enough. But at least try. ‘Fake it till you make it’ as they say. You have so many resources like Photoshop and plastic surgery. You got this!

Also, be well informed. Did you hear the tea about those Youtubers? 

Or learn the new Tiktok dance? 

Why didn’t you come to the bathroom with the rest of us? Come on, don’t be such a drag! How will you be cool now? Just follow the other kids, go with the flow, and have a good time.

Now take a look at the world around you: burnt trees and melting ice caps are a very aesthetically pleasing backdrop for your next Instagram post. You’re so close to 1k followers, the wildlife may be dying but your likes are thriving. 

So what if women still don’t have equal rights and people of the LGBTQ community are still getting attacked. So what if students around the world are crying themselves to sleep trying to finish their homework and everyone is enveloped in a sense of hopelessness. That doesn’t mean society is to blame.

What can you do, you know? Educate yourself? Too hard. Change the way you think? Why would you, the world is still spinning, right? Try and make a difference? Slow your roll there, buddy. I mean, what can one person do in a world of billions?

But you know, if you’re uncomfortable just follow the motto of society: scroll past the ugly and uncomfortable to the next pretty thing. It’ll be alright in the end.